HOW TO COPE WITH CELIBACY

ABSTAINING FROM SEX ???

This is a tough tough challenge but OLIANDLOLA your OL IN OL lifestyle blog is here to help lol.

3 steps to help get through


1 - Make sure the reasons for making the decision is fully internalised and thought out and has a strong foundation, other wise you will fail. This step is key. Whatever you decision for doing this needs to be one that can keep you on the correct path even when challenged with extreme temptation. Also in addition to this the company you keep will be a key influence to whether you fail or not. Try and be around people who will encourage you and understand your personal journey and do not try to entice you. This might mean removing some people in your life who you know will not help the journey. Also if the decision has a strong foundation this helps in them odd moments when temptation kicks in.

2 -  Occupy your mind on things that are of a non sexual nature. This can be hard especially since we live in a sex driven culture where everything and anything has hints of sexual connotations. You might feel strange taking this journey but you will be surprised to know that it is mostly western culture which heavily places emphasis on an active sex life.You will come to find that even watching films can be difficult and sitting in the same room with someone you are attracted to will be much harder as the sexual tension is far more intense. We recommend alone time or activities such as sport, self improvement etc. Celibacy is a great way to improve mental power and attempt to block out the perverted and replace such thoughts with more important things.

3 - It gets easier - Take time to establish a life without sex. If you are religious this is much easier as you can look to your religion for tips on sexual purity and strict scriptures which will entice guilt if you feel the need to cave in lool. 1 Corinthians 6:18 - FLEE FROM SEXUAL IMMORALITY. ALL OTHER SINS A PERSON COMMITS OUTSIDE THE BODY, BUT WHOEVER SINS SEXUALLY, SINS AGAINST THEIR OWN BODY. For Christians if that doesn't entice guilt and make you want to keep on the journey of celibacy then we do not know what will. lool. You need to establish a life without sex especially if your life has regularly revolved around the act. This will take time but can be rewarding if you manage to pull through.


OLIANDLOLA

XO

SINGLE PERSON'S MENTALITY????

WHY BE IN A RELATIONSHIP IF YOU HAVE A SINGLE PERSON'S MENTALITY

STILL FLIRTING 

Some people find it hard to give up the game and commit to one person. In some relationships, depending on the person you are with, some partners flirt and act single when they see people they are attracted to. This can  happen on nights out etc. and if it extends to phone conversations and deep texting then for some people that can be considered cheating. This type of partner is really not being fair to you as they are disrespecting you and the boundaries of the relationship by flirting when they know they are meant to be with you. 

BUILDING A RELATIONSHIP SHOULD BE A TEAM EFFORT THAT CONSISTS ON YOU AND YOUR PARTNER COOPERATING TO CREATE SOMETHING BEAUTIFUL. 

NOT EMOTIONALLY FORTH COMING???
Some people when they are in relationships act like they are still single in the sense that they like to deal with their issues on their own instead of realising that they have someone who they can work through it all with. Now this could be for several reasons such as trust issues etc. or maybe the relationship is not on that level yet for them. This can cause barriers to communication as the partner is not communicating what is really stressing them.

RELATIONSHIPS ARE A LONG JOURNEY WHICH CAN BE FILLED WITH LOVE, LAUGHTER AND FUN ADVENTURES - FIND SOMEONE WHO IS WILLING TO GO THROUGH THE JOURNEY WITH YOU WHOLEHEARTEDLY. 

NOT WILLING TO COMPROMISE
Compromise happens when we perceive we have someone worth giving up certain things for because having them is far more important. If your partner does not compromise and sacrifice for you but puts you as second best then they might have a single person's mentality. Such people are self consumed and are not ready for relationships as they are not able to split their ME time into US time.

NEVER SETTLE TO BE SOMEBODY'S 'OTHER' WHEN YOU CAN BE SOMEBODY'S 'ONLY' 


IF THE PERSON IS NOT COMMITTED TO MAKING IT WORK THEN MAYBE ITS TIME TO STOP THE DESPERATION AND MOVE ON WITH LIFE 

OLIANDLOLA

XO  

INSECURITIES

"CONFIDENCE IS SILENT. INSECURITES ARE LOUD"

Insecurities can ruin a lot of things and it can also make us stronger. Don't feed your insecurities otherwise it will consume you. Relationships fail because people take their own insecurities and then twist them into their partners flaws. A starting point to overcoming insecurities whatever it may be would be to STOP comparing yourself to others and INSTEAD try and be the best you can be. Most bad behaviour comes from insecurity.

We all suffer from our own different insecurities in life. Don't be deceived we ALL have various ones no matter how glam anyone's life looks. What makes it better is how we deal with our insecurities. In the context of personal growth, a secure person knows who they are and what they plan to achieve in life. They are not looking at the next person and consistently picking unnecessary faults . When insecure, you are never sure about yourself and this leads to the creation of you always feeling vulnerable and how you feel about yourself is consistently shaped by the views and ideas of what others think about you.

- DIFFERENT REASONS THAT BREED INSECURITIES -

A distressed childhood, adolescence or even adulthood plays a prominent role with insecurities because they have never been allowed to express how they really feel and are always on edge for the next bad thing to happen due to living in fear of someone and the awful rigid expectations that they have been subjected to.

Peer pressure can also be detrimental. Why live up to anybody's standards? Live up to yours and be content with that. This creates a vacuum for intense insecurities because you may not be able to fulfil social expectations expected of you by the media and friends especially if it's just not your character. Nothing can be as good as the original so get better at being YOU.

Past experiences can blur your future expectations. But convince yourself and pray that it will be okay in the end. If it's not okay, then it's not the end. Don't let your past experiences colour your future expectations and this is what insecurities usually do.

If you have materialistic tendencies, chances are that you will fall very deep into the trap of insecurities. Especially when you can't keep up with the lifestyle that you are killing yourself to live. Don't be in the habit of collecting and acquiring ALL the time.

Being a doubtful person can be very overwhelming, it's easier to tell yourself it will work out rather than it won't work out. If you suffer from this which most people do, just make it a strong prayer point and God will have it covered. It hinders success seriously.

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- SPOTTING INSECURITIES IN OTHERS -

Jealously is usually a classic sign of insecurity. It's always good to be weary of very insecure people because they just might not have your best interest at heart. That just the blatant truth. Selfishness and the spirit of always acquiring *what can I have* is a major sign. It's never about helping others, it's always about proving that they are better than others.

People pleasers - Everyone can't like you, going around trying to please everyone will eventually lead to people hating you because you can't be STRAIGHT with the personality. It's just what it is. You end up faking half the time just to fit in. These people find it hard to say 'NO' because they feel they will be neglected if they do.

Chatterboxes - You always feel the need to let people know what you're doing ALL the time. No sense of surprise about you because all you ever want is to be noticed and receive attention. It's usually a sign of being insecure and not being happy within yourself.

Defensiveness - These people fight any attempts of anyone trying to give them constructive criticism. They just don't want to hear it.  Getting productive feedback from people just don't work for them no matter what it is.

Body language is always the give away. The way a person holds themselves is a clear indicator of how they feel about themselves most times however, there is always the odd exception. Approach people with insecurities with caution and watch what you say and how you say things  that affect them. Don't make yourself a negative influence in their lives.

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~ DON'T LET YOUR INSECURITIES KILL YOURSELF ESTEEM ~

OLIANDLOLA

WHAT TYPE OF MEN DO YOU FALL FOR?

WHAT TYPE OF MEN DO YOU FALL FOR?

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Unless it's mad passionate EXTRAORDINARY love.

It's a waste of time.

There are too many mediocre things in LIFE.

 LOVE should not be one of them.

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Falling in love certainly can't be a mistake. Most of the time, your exes usually have something in common that made you fall in love with them in the first place. We all have different perceptions of compatibility with men. What you might fancy, someone else might be totally against your taste in men.

It's always nice to know the type of men that attract you.

1. Do you fall in love with men that you are afraid to lose?
2. Do you fall in love with men who have a lot of life and are all about keeping everything they do interesting?
3. Do you fall for men with feminine streaks? Some guys love good grooming to the point it's more feminine than anything else and some ladies LOVE this.
4. Do you fall for older guys/men?
5. Do you fall for controlling men?

Different women fall for different types of men. These are just a few examples that could strike your thinking when reading this article.
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There is also a degree of chemistry involved when falling for men. It's always better if the chemicals are mixed properly before you get hooked on something YOU KNOW will not work out but to appease your heart, you love in denial. Love is such a unique experience that it's also important to understand how men think and how men fall in love. Most of the time, when women fall in love they glow with happiness and its all about 'I Miss You' text messages. BUT when men fall in love, it's a whole different ball game and most the time, it's not with immediate effect that they fall in love. A guy might not even know what it is about the girl he likes;  it could just be instant physical attraction that got him hooked. Men appreciate women on a daily basis but won't be infatuated with all of them. But if he finds one he is really attracted to, he will appreciate her and will be bang right in the infatuation phase. How men fall in love can be a complicated process because they usually make sure the girl has fallen in love with them before they then make an advance. He needs to be convinced that you are hooked and won't be at ease till he is CERTAIN that the girl really likes him.

Falling for the wrong man?

The POPULAR MISTKE - "Actions speak louder than words".... Most of us have been a victim of this. However, it is important to remember that actions also lie. Be aware not to fall for womanising and manipulating. Men know that women can be fooled with actions and they sometimes play on this. SO BE SMART. Actions only speak louder than words when the heart is pure.

The fear of being alone - Companionship... Most of the time, it never works out because all you want is the dates, being with someone and maybe even the sex. When it turns out bad, you always end up playing the victim.

Looks - There is a lot more to a man than his looks. Don't fall for a man because he looks good and you think you being in his life will change him to suit your personality.  This shallowness will lead you to shallow men. Keep an open mind and go with the flow. Personality should be your number 1 bench mark especially if you are looking for something serious.

Everyone has a past and everyone makes mistakes. But be wise when falling for a man. One wrong choice can be VERY VERY detrimental to you. And can sometimes go as a far as wrecking future potential relationships. It happens sometimes.

ALWAYS REMEMBER TO PRAY AND BE PATIENT BEFORE MAKING SUCH A DECISION.

Bless

OLIANDLOLA

LOLA IN LAGOS - BITS AND BOBS

- GOOD TIMES IN LAGOS-

My life behind writing in pictures!!! 

#MY ROCK - MOTHER DEAREST

#SEFLIE #AFRICAN PRINT TOP #MY FAVE

#KUDETALOUNGE #PRAIZ #KEPTITSIMPLE

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- HOME MADE FOOD -

Salad - Lettuce, Tomato, Feta

Lamb chops 

Jollof Rice

Chicken Stew

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 Got home well late that evening. Was a very busy day.

Mask Party 

-Embrace the current season of your life-

BLESS

LOLA

SAN CARLO CICCHETTI

What we love about London is the different characters and fantastic people you meet. 

IF YOU HAVE ANY WONDERFUL STORIES TO SHARE, LET US KNOW WE LOVE READING THEM. 

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FOOD     FOOD     FOOD     FOOD      FOOD      FOOD      FOOD       FOOD     FOOD     

San Carlo Cicchetti

Bar, Ristorante, Caffe, Cicchetti

WE LOVE LOVE LOVE ITALIAN FOOD

FOOD     FOOD     FOOD     FOOD      FOOD      FOOD      FOOD       FOOD     FOOD 

This beautiful restaurant which can be located in Piccadilly, London has to be one of the best Italian 

food places we have visited in a long time. The food is exquisite and since their menu offers breakfast,

 lunch and dinner our taste buds are constantly being satisfied all day long.  

The interior is beautiful, sophisticated yet relaxing. We literally spotted this place from a distance 

and knew we had to try it out. As we walked inside we thought the place looked so beautiful, especially

 the bar area.  The staff are so very friendly and help keep this place running like a well oiled machine. 

If you are an Italian lover or want to try for the first time we recommend this place. It has oliandlola's 

approval lol. 

The bar has a rather large collection of wines to choose from. San Carlo Cicchetti really shows off the

 Venetian culinary custom of Cicchetti. You can enjoy these small appetisers with the great tasting 

wines or a cold beer. Each season they redefine their menu to offer new food and also try and keep 

some of the customer's favourite dishes. The new menu is filled with great seasoned fresh food ideas 

for those who like to try something new. 

Photography by oliandlola

As always if you have been following oliandlola's blog you will know that we love to enjoy our food 

with family and friends and we recommend this fantastic place as a good environment to catch up and 

enjoy good conversation with good food.  

OLIANDLOLA 

XO

PULLING OF THAT SPECIAL PROPOSAL

' Never take someone for granted,
 hold on to the people close to your heart, 
because you might wake up one day and realise,
 you lost a DIAMOND chasing stones'

If you love her make your way down to the altar,
and marry that special someone,
so it won't be you making this mistake.

FOR THOSE MEN WHO HAVE MADE IT THIS FAR. 

THE PROPOSAL

IDEAS
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THE WORDS - (WE HOPE THESE RANDOM WORDS WE HAVE PUT TOGETHER INSPIRE YOU)

On this day I choose you. 

If any man asked me what my biggest dream is, I would say, to spend the rest of my life with you, 

hand in hand walking beside you though all of life's ups and downs. I can honestly say you are truly 

my other half, the beautiful angel who was sent to make me whole. There is no other woman I would 

rather spend the rest of my life with. I am truly grateful for you because from the very first day I saw

 you, you have been inspiring and guiding me to be a better man. 

Never before has a woman encouraged me to do good like you have. SO on this day I vow to forever 

love you unconditionally; to be the man who picks you up when your down, the man who's sole 

purpose in life is to make you happy and always put a smile on that beautiful face.

On this day that I get on one knee, I also look up to the heavens and my soul expresses its joy to the 

Lord for creating such a phenomenal woman. I promise you before GOD AND HIS ANGELS, that if 

you accept my proposal, when it rains it will be my love that showers down on you, when the sun-

shines it will be my love rays that create a brighter day. 

Everything you are and everything you do I want you to teach my children one day. It is through you

that I want to bring new life. All your values, moral rights and wrongs and strongest beliefs I want

you to pass on to my children; BECAUSE if those same values are what made you such a great

woman then I know my future children will be in blessed hands. 

(....insert name here....) WILL YOU MARRY ME

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THE PROPOSAL IDEAS 







*Get a street caricature artist to draw your faces with a speech bubble from you mouth saying

 WILL YOU MARRY ME. This ideas is simple yet creative enough to melt her heart and give you good

brownie points for creativity.

*Miming out your proposal to a song which  has key wedding words in it to give her the hint of what

 is happening. We saw this idea on you-tube and loved it; at first is sounded DEAD BORING but when

we watched the video we literally applauded the man and thought it was brilliant. The key to this

 proposal is the song you pick. The song needs to be a good reflection of what you feel inside and

needs to express your wish to spend the rest of your life with this beautiful person.


*Love trail of things that represent your relationship - This wedding proposal is meant to be a bit of a

sweet challenge for your woman as she has to follow the bread crumbs which will lead to you being

 on one knee. This one is good as it is intriguing for her to follow the clues and trust us when she

 eventually reaches you and you are on one knee with a great speech prepared she will defo say yes.


*The classic restaurant some where special that the both of you have a fond memory off. This one is

simple and timeless and will make the occasion extremely special as it has a nostalgic effect.




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3 of OUR FAVOURITE SONGS 


SONGS FOR INSPIRATION OR TO USE WHEN POPPING THE QUESTION











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DO NO FORGET THE RING LOL 

SHE NEEDS THAT BLING FOR HER HAND 








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We hope this was helpful

GOODLUCK

OLIANDLOLA

XO

WHO WEARS THE PANTS... YOU OR YOUR MAN?

WHO WEARS THE PANTS?

Wearing the pants in the relationship refers to the dominant person in the relationship. It's usually the man that 'wears the pants' BUT in recent times, a lot of women have now begun to 'wear the pants' in the relationship.

*WHIPPED WHIPPED WHIPPED* 

Some men will do ANYTHING for their women. Literally give their woman the world if she asked for it. But some women take this as a weakness of the man and before you know it, she is already wearing the pants in the relationship. This 7 letter dreaded word can make you become stupid in love. Although in relationships, communication is meant to be equal and mutual; there is usually one person in the relationship who has MORE control than the other. Being whipped as a guy will lead you to wearing the skirt in the relationship and it DOES happen A LOT.

*QUICK TO APOLOGIZE*

If there is a disagreement, if you are quick to apologise and smooth things over hastily, chances are that you are the weaker link in the relationship. It's usually the women who are emotional but if your man is doing this, he just might be the weaker one. Oh and yeah... The person who dropped the 'L' bomb first, before you were on his/her radar in that way, shows how much he/she is in touch with their feelings and usually unfolds in the relationship as the weaker link *oops*.

*IT'S ALL ABOUT THE BENJAMINS*

Who ever brings home the money is obviously the one wearing the pants most times. Sadly, women are mostly underpaid in the career world for what they do. Hence, more men earn a lot more than women. If you are the one dishing out the dough whichever way it works, then you are the one in control a.k.a wearing the pants.

*ARE YOUR FRIENDS HIS FRIENDS*
If your man has ditched his friends and has found his way into your social group and he practically changed for you --- You just might be 'wearing the pants' in the relationship. Be quite cautious of this because it can end up detrimental. It's one thing to have him around you sometimes and it's another for him to ALWAYS be around. Leads to problems in the end.


*MAKING DECISIONS*
If you are the one who has the final say on most decisions, you probably are 'wearing the pants' in the relationship. It can start from as little as a restaurant choice for dinner to intense family situations. Making decisions in a relationship and having the final say is a huge sign as to who wears the pants.

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WOULD YOU LIKE TO WEAR THE PANTS IN YOUR RELATIONSHIP??

We prefer to leave that to the men in our lives rather than having to take up such the role. *wink wink*


Some people find it cool to wear the pants in their relationship. Seems like a whole lot of work to us.

To all the special people wearing the pants in their relationship, may you have the wisdom to channel your relationship/family in the right direction.


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BLESS

OLIANDLOLA
XO

AFRO POP SOUL ON THE BLOCK - *SIMI*

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*AFRO - POP  SOUL WORLDWIDE*

-CAN NEVER BE LOW BROW-

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Sold out albums. Culture and style. Natural talent. Nigeria's wow factor.

- INTRODUCING SIMI -

         WITH EVER INCREASING  FOLLOWERS  SHE WILL SOON TAKE OVER. JOIN THE MOVEMENT AND LISTEN TO THIS GREAT ARTIST.     


insta --- symplysimi


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'I show my gratitude for life through singing - I give back through my music' 

- SIMI- 

MUSIC IS AN EXPRESSION OF WHAT IS WITHIN FOR THIS ARTIST

Her name (SIMISOLA)  means  "REST IN WEALTH" and you can be sure that  HER UNIQUE TALENTS will for sure leave her RESTING IN WEALTH within the music industry.  Full of talent and sex appeal the young artist has a promising future. DON'T DULL follow her now.

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Afro - pop soul is the blanket description of the continents many diverse styles of music and SIMI comes up with her own twist to her version of Afro - Pop!!! 

Simi's extremely creative talent and versatility makes her stand out as a unique artist within the music industry especially in Nigeria. She is genius at what she does; there is a force within her that keeps pushing her to the next level. The sky is certainly NOT the limit. There is so much art in afro - pop but it can't happen without inspiration.

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-SIMI'S INSPIRATION- 

ENGLAND'S OWN                                            -ADELE-

  ADELE HAS A VOICE THAT CARRIES STRAIGHT INTO THE HEAVENS.                                                                                             BREATHTAKINGLY BEAUTIFUL WE UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS ONE OF SIMI'S INSPIRATIONS.                                                                                                                   SIMI SHOWS THE SAME GRACE AND ELEGANCE AS ADELE AND WILL BE A PRESENCE ON THE STAGE  

                                                     BARBADOS' OWN RIRI  

-RIHANNA- 
THE BADDEST POP SENSATION ON THE PLANET.
                                                 
SEXY, FULL OF ATTITUDE, TALENTED AND A FORCE WITHIN THE MUSIC INDUSTRY

THESE SAME BAD ASS QUALITY OUR GIRL SIMI POSSESSES AND IF THEY WORKED FOR RIRI THEN THE NIGERIAN POP SENSATION WILL SOON DOMINATE THE WORLD .

-ASA-  NIGERIA'S OWN 

SIMI LOVES ASA'S MUSIC AND TRIES TO BE AS CREATIVE AS POSSIBLE WITH HER OWN WORK. 

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AFRO - POP  SOUL DIVA *SIMI*

- Enjoy the clip -

WATCH HER TAKE AFRO - POP SOUL BY STORM with her 

SELLING OUT SOPHOMORE ALBUM 

Not only is she inspired by great international artists but she works alongside some of the baddest acts in Africa such as PRAIZ the R&B sensation master.

X3M MUSIC IS  A GOLD MINE WITH THESE ARTISTS. 

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AUDIO TO HER HIGHLIGHT SINGLES

-TIFF-

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Turn UP her MUSIC and Turn DOWN the DRAMA!!! 
Her record label X3M music continues to nurture her style and music in it's entirety helping her maximise her talent.
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- E NO GO FUNNY- 


You can't overdose on SIMI!!! 


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twitter --- @symplysimi

OLIANDLOLA

XO

WOULD YOU MARRY HER AGAIN???? - MEN - PICK WISELY

IF YOU COULD REDO THINGS WOULD YOU MARRY THEM AGAIN?????

This is a question we asked a few married people and the answers came up scattered, some men said yes they would and others said no they wish they had chosen wisely. The person you married might not be what you thought she was; some women turn out to not be the sweet female you were exposed to during the dating stage. 

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IMPORTANT DISCLAIMER
Now as we go into this article you must understand that we are not saying women are one sided; women can have several emotions and some women express each emotion to the extreme and this does not mean that she is deceptive and evil.
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'BEAUTY IS FLEETING AND CHARM IS DECEITFUL'

THE ONES WHO SAID YES THEY WOULD MARRY THE SAME LADY AGAIN

*They took their time getting to know the girl and seeing her personality through and through. These men said that they removed the starstruck eyes and really stepped back and looked at the person they were dating with 'clear' vision. This allowed them to see the woman for what she really was not what they wanted her to be. The personality test- some of the men even went as far as testing their partner's personalities under different situations to see what she really reacts like when she has lost her charming smile and tender eyes lol. 

* The other common answer these men gave was they actually spoke to the ladies they were pursuing about their future plans. They assessed what was important in their own nearby future and asked these ladies WHAT DO YOU HOPE FOR THE FUTURE without revealing what they hoped for. Now the answers these women provided were not fully satisfactory for some men and some as these men further went to test their woman's answer to see whether they were lying or being truthful. 
HOW?? YOU ASK LOL.

EXAMPLE -  One man's wife said she wanted kids in the nearby future; the man tested the women by having her babysit 4 of his nieces and watched her reaction and how she handled the task. But he also said that just because the woman might seem keen for the task doesn't now mean you rush and marry her; you have to watch how well she looks after the kids and the analogy he used was ALL WOMEN WANT THE JOB BUT NOT ALL WOMEN ARE FIT FOR THE JOB. 


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THE ONE'S WHO SAID NO THEY WOULD NOT

*Even piranha's will smile if the occasion needs it* words of a ex husband

These men were the type who jumped straight into the deep end of the pool without testing out the kiddy pool. They rushed into married and commitment based on lust and the honeymoon stage and failed to really see whether their partner was a true match for them or not. They didn't see the extremes of the relationships. 

They confused extreme liking for loving so eventually the relationship run dry. We truly LOVE people very rarely in our entire life,  and most people especially these men said they did not fall in love with these women they ended up divorcing and in actuality they still do not know what real unconditional love is. 


 ADVICE THEY OFFERED- Ask people who are close and also not close to you and her to give you an HONEST opinion of the person you are considering marrying. Really take time to HEAR what they are saying and DISCERN the deeper meaning of their words. 

 IF SHE IS OUT THERE MAKING OTHER FEMALES CRY AND UNHAPPY THEN MAYBE SHE ISN'T AS NICE AS YOU THOUGHT --we know this one might sound strange but some women are evil enough to make grown women cry.

IF YOU SEEM TO BE LOSING FRIENDS OR LOVED ONES SINCE YOU STARTED SEEING HER THEN MAYBE SHE ISN'T THE RIGHT ONE. 

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 THIS IS THE PERSON YOU MIGHT SPEND YOUR WHOLE ENITRE LIFE WITH - WE ENCOURAGE YOU TO TAKE YOUR TIME. 



MAKE IT TO THE END 

GOOD LUCK MEN 

OLIANDLOLA 

XO 

APPRECIATING ART - FEMININE HOBBIES

'ART IS ABLE TO WASH AWAY FROM THE SOUL THE   DUST OF EVERYDAY LIFE'

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Now as women we should try to be well rounded and pick up different hobbies which can enrich who we are. It is important to not stifle yourselves. We think it is important to branch out and find different things to learn about. 

Well rounded men do not like to be around unaccomplished women. A man who has spent his life educating himself and acquiring new skills wants a woman who can hold her own and show what she has picked up during the course of her life.

One way to make yourself more fascinating could be through getting to know a bit 

more about art. 

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IF STAYING IN GALLERIES IS NOT YOUR THING 

THEN TAKE TO THE STREETS AND SEE WHAT THE WORLD HAS TO OFFER

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STREET ART 

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**There is something out there for everyone**

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OTHER FEMININE HOBBIES

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COOKING 

---It is important to know how to cook, if you don't know how to please your own stomach you are in trouble loool. There are so many wonderful recipe books to look at to get inspired. We have listed some of our favourite food blogs which were featured in our special guest cook article about Tanita.

Great food blogs/websites

*http://roxanashomebaking.com/*

* http://www.sprinklebakes.com/*

*http://lovintheoven.com/*

*http://www.lovefromtheoven.com/page/2/*

*http://sallysbakingaddiction.com/page/4/*

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MUSIC

---One of our favourite instruments is the saxophone; we recommend that if you do not know how to play an instrument then you can take a keen interest in looking into your favourite genre and developing an in-depth knowledge about the roots of the genre. 

'MUSIC IS WHAT FEELINGS SOUND LIKE'

We are not great fans of classical music but we do try and take an interest in it as we have discovered through attending numerous events that people love to discuss classical music. 

Now it is not everyone's cup of tea but just to save face we recommend you know the basics so you can at least get away with faking an interest.

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READING

---'EVEN THE FIRST LADY KNOWS THE IMPORTANCE OF READING AND EDUCATING YOURSELF'

We can not stress enough the importance of being learned. Ladies your mind is your greatest asset. Michelle Obama is a great example of a woman who is learned; she has a law degree from Harvard which is very impressive and all that hard work and education surely paid off as she is now one of the most influential women on planet earth. 

We will never claim to be the smartest of women but we can assure you that we surely will try and join the race to be. 

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OLIANDLOLA

XO

DO YOU SCARE OFF MEN?

- DO YOU SCARE OFF MEN -

* Please don't , it's just NOT cool and doesn't speak well of you either *

- 5 REASONS -

Being too intense is sometimes the wrong approach. Keep the intensity of what you feel about the guy to yourself. Give it time before you start expressing true feelings. The guy needs to process his feelings about you. Don't let him think you are a psychopath because all you ever do is tell him how much you love him and how much you can't live without him. Basically obsessing over him and your not even in ANY sort of relationship can be detrimental. Don't do too much too soon.

Being feminine goes a long way. You don't have to over do it but being manly can sometimes be unattractive to the opposite sex. Guys still appreciate felinity to a certain extent a lot more than 'ms. mature'. Try and be gentle rather than exerting your manly qualities like arm wrestling, opening bottles with your teeth, behaving gangsta. It sometimes can be a major turn off exerting thug life features.

Talking about what you don't want. Basically laying down the rules for the man. Talk more about what you want in a positive manner. Communicate your ideas constructively. Positive reinforcement goes a long way. Don't start him off with how you can't marry someone poor, someone who cheats.... that's just beating a dead horse. It's a verbal mistake a lot of women make.

Being needy is just not cool. No one wants to be with a needy person in all honesty. Don't bug him with messages all day long, phone calls day in - day out. Everyone needs their own space. If you call and he doesn't pick, kindly call it off after the 3rd phone call because it then becomes ridiculous UNLESS it's an emergency and in most cases there isn't any emergency. Give him some breathing space and some time to actually MISS you. Cut being possessive it's just an unattractive trait.

Carrying emotional baggage and being desperate certainly scares men away from you. You can't be showing a man that you are not over your past relationships yet because it will begin to affect him sooner or later. Being desperate just shows you need a vacuum in your life to be filled and you'll do this at any cost not necessarily because you like him.

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The best way to attract a good man is being the best YOU can be.

A good man will commit if he feels you will make his life better and your presence in his life will bring positivity.

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OLIANDLOLA

CAN YOU EVER BE FRIENDS WITH YOUR EX?

- TGIM EVERYONE -

Some food for thought

At some point in most relationships, there is always a time to say goodbye except marriage is intended as the end result. The memories you have shared with your ex whether good or bad needs to be put in your back pocket in order for you to move on. However, couples feel the need to promise each other friendship but  most of the time, this leads to more broken promises. 

-THE QUESTION STILL REMAINS-

Can you ever be friends with your ex?

One person is usually the heart breaker while the other is heart broken and sobs over the break up. It's never easy to let go but at some point it is necessary. It's normally the person that in the relationship that comes up with 'we can still be friends'... You know that talk... Makes the person in the relationship who caused the break up feel a lot better.

The utmost worst... It's not easy to cut out someone you have had moments of sheer ecstasy with. It's difficult to view that person in the same light or have a normal relationship with someone you were intimate with. Staying friends at this point seems more negative than positive.

Some sort of one sided bitterness and then confiding in each other becomes an issue. Your ex can't sincerely be your friend because pride comes into play and talking about how you both have moved on most of time is a sour topic. You never want to see them with anyone else.

In an ideal world, exes should be friend but when jealousy, passion and emotions exist, it become impossible to be friends. Except it was a mutual breakup. In all honesty, you are better off leaving the friendship behind alongside the memories so it doesn't get darker.

It's really not easy staying friends with your ex. It hardly ever works. Every time you plan to see each other... Considering non romantic plans seems like the hardest thing.

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Questions like...

What happens when your ex dates someone else?

What happens when the cosy friendship is over?

Is it worth going through the hassle of becoming friends when it is more than likely they will leave when they find someone new??

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OLIANDLOLA

OUT AND ABOUT IN LAGOS *CALM DAY*

CALM OUTFIT of the DAY
-Jeans-
-Blouse-

Had lunch at L'afric and it was awesome!!!! Their meals are ALWAYS on point!!! Because I am around for such a short period, I am trying to eat as much Naija food as I possibly can before I head back to London!! (lol)

It was a nice afternoon that was suitable for pounded yam and the soups below. Oh my days.... It was YUM!!!

POUNDED YAM

WHITE SOUP (Very Spicy)

SEA FOOD OKRO

CHICKEN IN GARLIC SAUCE AND CHIPS

Lovely day out with the family!!!
I am busy enjoying the little things in life. They make me happy!!!

LOLA

*

OLIANDLOLA